Here he is...our fourth child to be...Lord willing we will bring him home late summer...Mike and I started the adoption process in July in preparation for an adoption "if we felt called" to a certain child...at this point it was mainly "mechanics"...going through to motions to "maybe" adopt...we had our home study completed and at that point we would "wait"...working for an adoption agency I see many children on a daily basis that need homes...they are all special, wonderful and uniquely created...so many of these children were "possiblities" but we wanted it to "just happen" and to feel "right"....God led...sometimes it is hard to discern....God led or self led?? how will we know?....especially when there are so many faces, so many children, so much need...we could be convinced any of these children were "ours".......we actually explored several children but for one reason or another it didn't flow ...it didn't "just happen".....we "thought" we wanted a younger child, a boy, between the ages of 2-4....our agency (Lifeline Children's Services) recently received a list of older, harder to place children to advocate for and to try to find homes for...really, I didn't think of "our child" being on this list because the children were all older than 4....there was one boy on the list that I saw that I thought "looked interesting"....I looked at his file and found that we had a short video of him...the video was different from the picture...he was "real" not just a photo...he was walking...smiling shyly...he had adorable dimples...after watching the video there were questions to the orphanage...phone calls to a doctor...and then....it "just happened"....even though he was 6...even though he has a severe heart condition....even though...even though....he had a look that was familiar for some reason....for those that knew James when he was this age and have seen a picture of Cam say he looks like an Asian James...ha....maybe that is why we were attracted to him...I'm not sure...but now in China in a stack of papers and files our name is attached to his and his name is attached to ours...kind of surreal as there is a child out there that is to be a part of our family.... he has already formed interests, likes, dislikes, fears, talents and we don't KNOW him...but, we feel confident he is ours...and we are thankful that looking back there was not really any effort on our part....or worry...or anxiety...or doubt...it just kind of happened...isn't that how God works?...somehow in the midst of our human-ness He takes over and things just happen....
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